Dear Bella,
I am quite relieved to hear of your shitty notices. Now before you recoil in horror, let me explain my elation.
It seems the CHUBB Group was not happy with “NO, NO ACHMED” but was rather interested in our book of poems COME FLY WITH ME NUDE. It appears a copy got into their hands and they want us to stage the poems in a Man/Woman, Yin/Yang tsunami of sound, drums and dazzling light effects! Can you believe it??
It appears that Paolo isn’t that interested in you anymore. He won’t live with you! He is discouraging your art! And you know my phobia of all things Dutch. I thought that he was too good to be true. Men always disappoint. Trust me. Get out my friend while you still can.
I need you here in San Francisco to get this project on it’s feet. They don’t want me without you and I cannot help but concur. Get your sassy ass back to Bagdad by the Bay and I’ll set up a meeting so you too can meet CHUBB. Until then, I shall do my best to hold Chubb’s attention, keep its interest.
I await your return in a most excited state.
TURGIDLY YOURS
DOM